Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to be a little self-indulgent. This week's Grilled features Honey P., one of A Hamburger Today's founding editors. While we're a little averse to the sound of our own keyboards tapping, we thought you might want to know more about the folks who had a hand in making this site what it is. And so, without further ado, let's get Grillin'! —The Mgmt.
Name: Honey P. Location: New York City Occupation: Journalist
How often do you eat burgers?
Used to be about two times a week but too much Oprah and Dr. Mehmet Oz has me paranoid about heart disease so I’m averaging about one patty every one to two weeks. Regardless, I usually can’t resist.
Where did you eat your most recent one?
At an old school drive-in called the Charcoaler in El Paso, Texas. I had the area’s classic green chile burger. It was fantastic, no grease, fresh ingredients, perfectly palm size, and it tasted like you grilled it yourself in the backyard.
American, cheddar, other?
Cheddar, blue, gruyère or jalapeño Jack. I reserve American for summertime grill-outs and the Fourth, when you can’t seem to escape it. But it really does melt so well onto the burger. I just can’t renounce my expensive tastes. Well, not yet.
Ketchup or mustard?
Depends what else is on the burger for me. For example, ketchup and cheddar make a perfect pair, but if the burger has bacon and blue cheese, then I like a Dijon mustard. With American, Heinz and French’s is a classic combo. And for a really wild time, a mayo-ketchup mix is usually super tasty.
Sesame-seed or plain?
I don’t really care. The makeup of the bun is more important—soft, so it soaks up the juices but hearty enough that it holds the thing together and doesn’t fall apart. I like the taste sesame adds but it’s not deciding factor.
Grilled, griddled, or broiled?
Grilled. ‘Cause an open flame does a burger right. Despite some of the haters around here, I love the Corner Bistro burger, and I know that’s broiled, so perhaps broiled is my second choice.
And how would you like that done, miss?
Medium is my rule of thumb, but if your meat can hold its own, then medium-rare.
Just a heads up that tonight Morgan Spurlock, also known as the man who was willing to die to save your child from Happy Meals, kicks off his show 30 Days on the FX network.
Riding the wave of activism-by-example that he touched off with his Oscar-nominated film Super Size Me, which featured a lot of burgers, Mr. Spurlock for the next six weeks will conquer as many evils as producers allow. His method? Using die-hard tactics—but with other people walking the plank this time—to teach us (and them) a lesson. These include de-programming fundamentalist zealots, educating a straight man on homosexual domesticity, and turning MADD moms into drunk drivers to really get the point across. OK, we're just goofin' on that last one, but one episode does feature a mother binge-drinking to teach her sorority-girl offspring a lesson.
Interestingly, he told the New York Times that he shopped the idea around to four major networks before FX bit. Mr. "My Liver Loathes Micky D's" only appears in the series premiere, living with his fiancée on minimum wage in Columbus, Ohio [The home of White Castle — Ed.] And, sources tell me that he's been shooting at a "drive-thru burger joint." Whether it's for the show or something else, we're not sure.
Kudos to Mr. Spurlock for not giving up on the world. We love a burger lover who has lofty ideals. As for his vegan honey, well, we'll just pretend we don't know about that.
The verdict, as you know, is in. Jacko is completely free to drink Jesus juice, fondle 'tween cancer victims, and pop all the sedatives he pleases. Tonight, Michael Jackson returns to Neverland, perpetually young playmates, and exotic animals. If you're reading this, you're probably not one of the crazed fans who staked out territory beside the Santa Barbara County courthouse; then again, if you are, be sure to check out nearby Char West after you decamp and head out.
Attempting to understand the beginnings of Mr. Jackson's predilection for pint-sized playmates, filmmaker Dave Greene created Michael Jackson's Secret Childhood, a documentary that aired January 29 on VH1. A major topic of the film is the questionable friendship between Webster star Emmanuel Lewis and Mr. Jackson during their respective heights of fame in the 1980s. In the film, Mr. Lewis's mother told a telling tale in which Jacko pulled a seriously twisted Lolitaesque move and checked into a hotel with Mr. Lewis, claiming the two were father and son. Needless to say, she pretty much put an end to all future playdates.
But Lewis wasn't the only 5-year-old "kin" of Jacko's back then. Former friend and TV-spot burger boy Rodney Allen Rippy also chilled with MJ quite a bit when Rippy wasn't singing his "make life a little easier" song.
If you didn't grow up on the West Coast and so don't know who Rippy is, all I really need to say is that he was the cutest damn kid on television in the '70s (that's him in the photo at right). And, he spent a good 14 years of his life joyously eating Jack in the Box burgers in front of the American public. Strangely enough, when he wasn't playing his part, he was busy dodging a teenage Mr. Jackson.
"Michael used to call my house every single Saturday and talk to me on the phone," Rippy says in the film. "My mom wondered and said, 'You know, I wonder why he doesn't have any friends his own age.' "
Sadly, Rippy, some things never change. Except, of course, those fast food burgers. A few weeks ago Jack in the Box debuted the Ciabatta Burger. Check out the Italian-inspired sandwich and let us know what you think.
Now that Dave has fallen off, many of us have resorted to Leno during the stretch beween the scare-journalism of local news and the comedic stylings of Conan. Good thing The Chin is on the money these days. Filling the hump that comes in the middle of a week already graced by Will Ferrell and the stylishO.C. cutey Adam Brody, Mr. Leno overwhelms us with a double whopper: Tom "Fists" Cruise and Chandler Goff.
That's right, two hits of crazy in one night! For those of you who missed the Tom & Katie Bomb, dropped on our country just weeks ago, I'll update you: First he appeared on Oprah bursting into monkeylike hysterics over his newfound love/Scientology experiment Ms. Holmes. Then he showed up on Access Hollywood to start a beef with Brooke Shields over the fact that she used pharmaceuticals to cure herself of an urge to kill herself and her baby, claiming there's no science to science. Then, after forcing journalists to tour Scientology facilities with him , he started another fight with a 60 Minutes anchor who suggested that some people might think Scientology is "a bunch of lunatic fringe." Oh Tommy boy, we're counting on you to enliven this evening's telly watching.
As fascinated as we are by Mr. Cruise's psychosis, however, we know where our priorities lie. So even if Mr. Top Gun cools his jets tonight, we'll still have Mr. Goff's appearance. If you don't know about chef Chandler, listen up: This guy is crazed in his own right, taking his burger obsession to new highs. At Mulligan's in Decatur, Georgia, Mr. Goff serves up his controversial "Hamdog" as well as the "Luther Burger." The Hamdog, of mythical proportions but oh so very real, starts with a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty. This massive meatwad is then deep-fried. Not enough for you? It's then topped with chili, cheese, onion, a fried egg, and two fistfuls of fries. All of this is nestled in a giant hoagie bun. The "Luther," supposedly named after R&B singer Luther Vandross, is much more simple: two Krispy Kremes sandwiching a good ol' bacon cheeseburger.
Unlike Tommy, though, Mr. Goff's crazy is a crazy we find truly endearing. But to be honest, we hope Tommy tries to body slam him—or, preferably, Toby Keith, tonight's musical guest. We wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Cruise starts a third beef tonight. It seems to be what he does best these days.
Determined to become queen of the screens (movie, TV, and computer), Paris Hilton, who has already graced the tube in nothing and next to nothing, turns up in a black Versace-esque swimsuit eating a hamburger in a TV ad today. The commercial is for West Coast chain Carl's Jr. and will be shown in a "Making the Video" style segment on Entertainment Tonight.
But the news doesn't stop there. As she eats the chain's new spicy burger, which is topped with a signature zingy barbecue sauce and fiery fried jalapeños, Ms. Hilton describes the sandwich in the best way she can. You can guess, I won't bother telling you here. Throw in the fact that, during all of this, she's washing a black Bentley to a punked-up version of the song "I Love Paris in the Springtime" and all we can say is that either Carl is having a midlife crisis or Paris just really is "that hot."
Brad Haley, the burger chain's executive vice president of marketing, explains the shameless scheme:
"The ad plays more like a music video than a typical television commercial. And the message is very simple: Paris, the situation, and the Spicy BBQ Six Dollar Burger are 'hot.' Paris was chosen to star in the ad because she is an intriguing cultural icon and the 'It Girl' of the moment. She fascinates Carl's Jr.'s most loyal customers, 'young, hungry guys,' as well as 'young hungry gals.' "
The commercial will run on the West Coast and will also be edited to air in the Midwest in June for Carl's sister chain, Hardee's. An extended, more scandalous version can be viewed on their site.
Personally, I liked that little star dude, but I guess when it comes to making money, you need a bigger star to get the point across. All we can say is that we hope things don't cool down for Carl anytime soon, 'cause we like their smoky, char-grilled fast-food patties.
So, apparently some kids in the UK have "burger vans" at their schools in lieu of working kitchens—lucky brats! According to a daily across the pond, not everyone is so happy about this, including one mother who credits celeb chef Jamie Oliver with opening her eyes to the "horrors" of free school meals. "I don't want [my kid] eating burgers and fried food every day at school," says concerned mother Dana Buchanan.
We know Mr. Oliver has been on his "Feed Me Better" crusade for the better part of 2005, however, we sure didn't know that this meant attacking what might just be the finest school cafeteria system we've ever heard of. Just check out the high-quality lunch-tray specimen found on his site (right).
Now it could be said that this reporter has a soft spot for Mr. Oliver, with his lispy botched Brit speak and wacky kitchen antics. So it wouldn’t be in one's favor to suggest anything ill of our chef, yet we couldn’t help but notice the extreme popularity of his Channel 4 show about this topic, Jamie's School Dinners, which is expected to launch stateside eventually. Food Network fodder for sure. We didn't think the Naked Chef could be more exposed.
So no real discredit to Mr. Oliver for tryin' to feed the children. Although, might we suggest healthy teeth and body odor crusades in addition? But seriously, mobile burger vans? Now that's street food at its finest.
Name: Honey P.
, which featured a lot of burgers, Mr. Spurlock for the next six weeks will conquer as many evils as producers allow. His method? Using die-hard tactics—but with other people walking the plank this time—to teach us (and them) a lesson. These include de-programming fundamentalist zealots, educating a straight man on homosexual domesticity, and turning MADD moms into drunk drivers to really get the point across. OK, we're just goofin' on that last one, but one episode does feature a mother binge-drinking to teach her sorority-girl offspring a lesson.
Interestingly, he told the New York Times that 
But Lewis wasn't the only 5-year-old "kin" of Jacko's back then. Former friend and TV-spot burger boy 
Determined to become queen of the screens (movie, TV, and computer), Paris Hilton, who has already graced the tube in nothing and next to nothing, turns up in a black Versace-esque swimsuit eating a hamburger in a TV ad today. The commercial is for West Coast chain 
We know Mr. Oliver has been on his "Feed Me Better" crusade for the better part of 2005, however, we sure didn't know that this meant attacking what might just be the finest school cafeteria system we've ever heard of. Just check out the high-quality lunch-tray specimen found on 
