Hey, Burger King, we need to talk. I think it's time we both admit that this isn't working. I know we had some good—no—great moments together, but if we're both honest, I think we can agree that was many years ago.
Burger King, I've tried. I wanted to believe things could get better, but now I'm not sure they ever can. This fry burger ($1)? I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just walk away. Is adding four measly fries to a burger (with nothing but ketchup, mayo and lettuce) your idea of a joke? Or, are you trying to send me a message, using an obvious lack of effort as some sort of passive-aggressive attack?
Either way, Burger King, we're through. All those fries brought to the burger was another form of starch. I could barely distinguish them from the bun. There's really nothing else to say. It's just another example of your laziness. Why not toss them in seasoning? Make a new mayo-based sauce? Use a mix of sweet potato and regular fries? Anything, really.
Burger King, if you want to make things better, it's going to take work. Real, hard, work. If you want to be the king of burgers, start with the beef. Those rubbery patties with the fake grill marks are beyond redemption. They have literally zero beef flavor. Dump them. While you're at it, the whole kitchen apparatus needs an overhaul. Cooking the patties in large batches and then microwaving them when you need to make a burger is fooling no one. I know this is difficult to hear, Burger King, but it's the truth. It's time you faced it.
About the author: Erin Jackson is a food writer and photographer who is obsessed with discovering the best eats in San Diego. You can find all of her discoveries on her San Diego food blog EJeats.com. On Twitter, she's @ErinJax