[Photographs: Robyn Lee]

Two weeks ago I was on vacation in Taipei visiting family and eating awesome food. Well, awesome Chinese food, i.e., no burgers.

But I did find this one burger-related thing in a random candy shop in Danshui Night Market: Hamburger Candy from Malaysian company Snappi. I figured it was worth the 10 NT (about 33¢) investment for AHT-reporting purposes. Maybe the candy would be burger-shaped. Maybe it'd be delicious. Maybe it'd be unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

It succeeded on the third point by turning out to be be one of the most unpalatable substances masquerading as candy in deceptively fun packaging I'd ever eaten. Let's watch my disappointment unfold.

First, the package above. The name and design—also featuring anthropomorphic Cola Bottle and Fries on the label—tell nothing about the horror within.

The horror within: little colored balls, like fat M&Ms, some in vibrant yellow and range, others in not-so-vibrant pink and green. Sort of burger-colored, I guess. I popped one in my mouth, thinking it might be chocolate or some other candy.

Result: neither. It's like a powdery, chalky, airy biscuit coated in a super thin shell of something vaguely fruit-flavored with a hint of vitamin—nothing that will make you feel nauseous, but it won't please you either. I thought maybe it had gone stale, until I noticed the expiration date on the package said November 2012. Well ... it was only 10 NT after all.

But why does this exist? Whose idea was this? How does that person sleep at night? Does that person have the ability to taste? Did the store clerk laugh at my purchase after I was out of her view? So many questions.

After trying the "candy," I got my mom to translate the ingredients for me: wheat flour, cane sugar, imitation cocoa fat, fat-free milk powder, artificial color. I don't know where the vaguely fruity vitamin essence came from. Oops.

So save your 10 NT for another candy (or, if you want to do the world a favor, buy all of the Hamburger Candy you can find and destroy it), one that doesn't capitalize on the good name of "burger" and mar it with the flavor of discontent. I recommend the smiling poop-shaped container full of smiling poop-shaped candies. (Yup, that's real; I bought two of 'em.)

About the author: Robyn Lee is the editor of A Hamburger Today and takes many of the photos for Serious Eats. She'll also doodle cute stuff when necessary. Read more from Robyn at her personal food blog, The Girl Who Ate Everything.