On last night's episode of Parks and Recreation, Chris Traeger (Rob Lowe) challenges Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) to a burger-making contest after Traeger claims that he can make a turkey burger that tastes better than any burger Swanson has ever eaten. If Traeger loses, he won't ban Swanson's beloved hamburgers from the commissary as part of a government-wide health initiative. Some choice quotes:
Traeger: You ever tried a turkey burger?
Swanson: Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? if so, yes, it's delicious.
T: A turkey burger: You take lean ground turkey meat and make that into a burger instead of red meat.
S: Why would anyone do that to themselves?
While "shopping" at health food supermarket Grain 'n Simple with Traeger, Swanson says:
No, I don't plan to buy anything here. I buy my burger ingredients at Food and Stuff, a discount food outlet equidistant from my home and my work. I came here for the same reason people go to the zoo. [looks back at dreadlocked man scooping dry goods into a plastic bag] Shh, look at that thing. Nature is amazing.
During the burger cook-off, Traeger makes an "Asian fusion" burger with Willow Farms organic turkey, toasted taleggio cheese crisp, papaya chutney, black truffle aioli, and microgreens on a gluten-free brioche bun. Swanson's burger?
It's a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want, I couldn't care less.
Parks and Recreation: 'Soulmates'
[via Nick Solares]