Slideshow: The Ultimate In-N-Out Secret Menu (and Super Secret Menu!) Survival Guide

5 Different Burgers
5 Different Burgers
Think you know every In-N-Out burger variant on the menu? Think again.
Plain Burger, No-Toast Bun
Plain Burger, No-Toast Bun
Buns come toasted by default, and burgers come medium-well by default. You can, of course, request that your bun come "no toast" like this one, or...
Medium Rare Cheeseburger, Extra-Toasted Bun
Medium Rare Cheeseburger, Extra-Toasted Bun
..."extra toast" like this to help protect it from that burger juice. Say the magic words "medium rare," and any burger can be cooked so that it retains a nice pink center. Don't worry, the patty still manages to form some of that signature In-N-Out brown crust. Want to customize that patty further? Just ask to have it...
Grilled Cheese
Grilled Cheese
...cheese. Order a "grilled cheese," and what you get is a soft toasted In-N-Out bun with two slices of American cheese beautifully melted in between. I like to eat these with pickles. If you ask for it, you can even get the standard lettuce, tomato, and raw onion slices stacked inside. But for my burgers, I prefer to top them with...
Grilled Onions
Grilled Onions
...caramelized onions. Cooked down in the collected meat juices on the hot griddle, ask for these "grilled onions" to add a sweet and savory kick to every bite. If you don't like them chopped so fine and want your burger to have an even stronger onion flavor, you might want to instead opt for...
Whole Grilled Onion
Whole Grilled Onion
...a "whole grilled onion." Thomas, my ever-so-friendly cashier said that this was his favorite, describing the flavor as "almost diner-like." I've got to concur. It's fantastic.

What's that you say? Got a hankering for something hot? No problem! Just ask for...

Chilis On The Side
Chilis On The Side
..."chilis on the side," and you'll receive a plastic packet with two whole pickled peppers in it. I'm no amateur when it comes to heat, but biting one of these diminutive fire-bombs in half nearly brought me to tears. Not for the faint-hearted!

Those who want to mix up the flavor of their condiments without setting fire to their throats might instead want to just ask to...

Mustard or Ketchup
Mustard or Ketchup
..."add mustard" or "add ketchup." I was surprised when I found that you can opt out of the delicious Thousand Island-style spread and instead go for the more familiar red and yellow squirts. And In-N-Out, anything goes, even if that means...
3 x 3, 4 x 4, 2 x 4, 4 x 2, and Everything In Between
3 x 3, 4 x 4, 2 x 4, 4 x 2, and Everything In Between
...an unusual meat to cheese ratio. Everyone knows that a cheeseburger is one patty, one slice of cheese, while a Double-Double is two patties, two slices of cheese. But did you know that you can order a three patty, three cheese sandwich or four patty, four cheese sandwich by asking for a "three by three" or a "four by four"?

Or how about a "two by four" (pictured)—that's two patties, four slices of cheese—or for true cheese loves, a "one by four"? If you prefer more meat and less cheese, you can of course ask for a "four by two." And if you're really odd, you can get any slice of cheese...

For those of you asking, they used to accommodate sandwiches larger than 4 by 4 (check out a 100 x 100!), but no longer do.

Double-Double, Animal Style
Double-Double, Animal Style
...Double-Double, Animal Style. Requesting anything on the menu "animal style" automatically adds extra spread and grilled chopped onions. For burgers, it also means automatic mustard grilled patties, extra pickles, and extra deliciousness.

If for some reason you've decided to step into In-N-Out as a non-meat eater, no worries. You can also forgo all the beefiness for a simple...

Veggie Burger
Veggie Burger
...salad-in-a-bun. Known as a "veggie burger," or "wish burger" (as in, "I wish there was meat in this burger"), it's a toasted bun piled high with hand-leafed lettuce, sliced tomatoes, and onions, spread, and pickles upon request.

If you really love veggies and really hate carbs, you can also get your burger...

Protein Style
Protein Style
...wrapped in lettuce. Known as "protein style," this sandwich forgoes the bun in lieu of an extra large lettuce wrap. You can, of course, customize those patties in there any which way you'd like.

Some people prefer to keep their roughage and their meat in separate beds. If that adequately describes you, you might consider ordering a...

Flying Dutchman
Flying Dutchman
...meat and cheese fest. It goes by the name of the "Flying Dutchman," and it's the ultimate Atkin's-friendly menu item. Two slices of cheese melted between two burger patties. No hippie vegetables, no wimpy buns, just pure protein and fat. Want to kick up the manliness by yet another factor? Ask for...
Flying Dutchman, Animal-Style
Flying Dutchman, Animal-Style
...Flying Dutchman to be served "Animal Style," and they'll add a scoop of diced onions to the cheese. Pickles and spread will come on the side, so you'll have to add them yourself, but the result definitely wins the award for messiest menu item of all time.

If just looking at something as sloppy as that gets on your OCPD nerves, you might want to try ordering your burger...

Cut in Half
Cut in Half
...split neatly down the middle instead. Great for families with kids or chronic sharers, you can ask for any burger "cut in half," and they'll do just that, wrapping each neat half individually.

To wash down your totally-customized burger, you might want to consider a...

Root Beer Float
Root Beer Float
...float? The words "root beer float" will get you a cup full of root beer topped with a swirl of vanilla soft-serve. That just leaves us with the sides.

Everyone knows that In-N-Out's fries are notoriously bad despite being fresh cut in-house—it's because they only fry them once instead of the superior McDonald's-style double-fry—. But there are ways to improve them. First you, you can get them...

Well Done
Well Done
...extra crispy by saying "well done." The fries turn out more dry and crunchy than crispy with a fluffy center, but it's a definite improvement. If you're on the opposite end of the spectrum, you can also request your fries...
Light
Light
..."light," where they'll come to your tray almost completely blond, limp, and greasy. I dunno. Some people like these, apparently. Cashier Thomas assures me that one customer regularly ordered "two minute" fries, which were still crunchy in the middle.

A much better way to improve your fries is to get them...

Animal Style Fries
Animal Style Fries
..."animal style." As with the burger, you'll get a scoop of cooked chopped onions, along with a ladleful of spread. Cheese also comes by default. You'll need a fork to eat these, and the key is to mix them up as soon as you get'em so that the cheese doesn't solidify before you reach it.

There is, unfortunately, one obvious customized sandwich that they won't make, and that's a burger with...

Fries Inside
Fries Inside
...fries inside it. It's not an uncommon self-applied customization though. I saw two separate people doing it on my most recent visit to the restaurant.

If you want to enjoy your burgers with a bit more style, if you ask extra nice, you might be able to score an...

In-N-Out Hat
In-N-Out Hat
...In-N-Out Hat. It's paper, and it's fully customizable. I know, because I have the largest head of anyone I know (literally, if not figuratively). And of course, if you want your gear to match your new headpiece, all you've got to do is request some...