How to Get a Spotted Pig Burger with American Cheese

"At this point, I'm probably just risking a lifetime ban from the Spotted Pig."

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Q) What do you call the Spotted Pig burger without cheese?
A) A good start. [Photograph: name redacted]

"I guess we didn't need to bring that blowtorch after all," I said to my two dining companions, who will go nameless to protect the innocent, after we finished our Spotted Pig burger with American cheese.

Yeah. That's right, American cheese, baby. Intrigued? Find out how we got the yellow stuff on our burger, after the jump.

See, my favorite burger cheese is American (as it is for most of you). It's the best-melting, smoothest cheese for a burger.

But The Spotted Pig gastropub is famous for its blue cheese cheeseburger. Yeah, sure, you can get the burger there plain, but you can't sub any other cheese onto it.

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[Photograph: name redacted]

So I took matters into my own hands. I brought along four slices of Kraft Deli Select American cheese with a plan to slip it onto a burger there.

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[Photograph: name redacted]

I was originally going to bring a kitchen torch with me to melt the cheese. (Because as onecoolraisin points out, a burger with cheese applied after cooking is just a "burger with cheese.") I figured the torch could give us some good, even meltage that simulated a quick turn under the broiler. But the damn torches were $59 at Williams-Sonoma—too pricey for what was essentially to be a prank post.

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[Photograph: name redacted]

I brought along four slices of cheese but one of my lunchmates thought two would be sufficient. They were. I quickly removed the cheese slices from the cellophane I had wrapped them in and slipped one below the patty and one on top.

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[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Two slices turned out to be perfect. The residual heat of the patty ended up melting the bottom slice pretty well, while the top slice eventually melted just enough. It's a good thing I didn't need to bring a kitchen torch. That probably would have gotten me arrested. At this point, I'm probably just risking a lifetime ban from the Spotted Pig.

The verdict? The Kraft Deli Select American cheese provided a little bit of creamy ooze and a not-overpowering hint of sharpness (Deli Select has a little bit sharper flavor than regular Kraft American). But, seriously? This burger does not need cheese. Not American, not blue. This is one of the rare burgers that I advocate getting plain has an honest-to-goodness hamburger.

But if you insist on sneaking in American cheese, I suggest you buck for an upstairs seat in the alcove just behind the restroom. ;)

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