Murder Burger in Auckland, New Zealand, may have the best "Staff Wanted" sign ever. Student teachers, yes! P (methamphetamine) addicts, no! Here's the transcript of the ad:
STAFF NEEDED FOR GOURMET BURGER BAR THAT NEEDS STAFF
Right Oh, Murder Burger is opening up on Ponsonby Road in Ronsonby and we need a bunch of people to hang out with, make burgers and talk shit. No previous experiences is needed as we teach you everything you need to know and we kind of factor in you buggering something up along the way.
The sorts of people we think will be good for the job are:
Arts, Architecture and Humanities students: No real reason for this, well actually I suppose there is, it's just that if we're going to be working with somebody for hours on end it's quite nice to talk about stuff we're interested in as well.
Student nurses and student teachers. I've gone out with two nurses and two teachers in my short life and they were all awesome. More awesome than me as it turns out which is why I'm not going out with them anymore.
The sorts of people we think won't be good for us:
Politics students: Nothing personal, we just don't understand you.
P addicts: Again, nothing personal, it's just that the benefit of you being able to work 7 shifts in a row is pretty much outweighted by the probability that you will one day flip, grab a knife and become Mr Stabby.
So if working with us sounds like something you might quite like to do instead of staying home watching telly then send an email to Geordie at
EMAIL ADDRESS REDACTED
[Logo featuring an intimidating kitten]
[via Negev Rock City]