Murder Burger's Funny, Atypically Detailed 'Staff Wanted' Sign

Posted by Robyn Lee, September 17, 2008 at 11:00 AM

Murder Burger in Auckland, New Zealand, may have the best "Staff Wanted" sign ever. Student teachers, yes! P (methamphetamine) addicts, no! Here's the transcript of the ad:

STAFF NEEDED FOR GOURMET BURGER BAR THAT NEEDS STAFF
Right Oh, Murder Burger is opening up on Ponsonby Road in Ronsonby and we need a bunch of people to hang out with, make burgers and talk shit. No previous experiences is needed as we teach you everything you need to know and we kind of factor in you buggering something up along the way.
The sorts of people we think will be good for the job are:
Arts, Architecture and Humanities students: No real reason for this, well actually I suppose there is, it's just that if we're going to be working with somebody for hours on end it's quite nice to talk about stuff we're interested in as well.
Student nurses and student teachers. I've gone out with two nurses and two teachers in my short life and they were all awesome. More awesome than me as it turns out which is why I'm not going out with them anymore.
The sorts of people we think won't be good for us:
Politics students: Nothing personal, we just don't understand you.
P addicts: Again, nothing personal, it's just that the benefit of you being able to work 7 shifts in a row is pretty much outweighted by the probability that you will one day flip, grab a knife and become Mr Stabby.
So if working with us sounds like something you might quite like to do instead of staying home watching telly then send an email to Geordie at
EMAIL ADDRESS REDACTED
Nice one.
[Logo featuring an intimidating kitten]

[via Negev Rock City]

12 Comments Favorite this! (0)

Tags: Auckland, funny, Murder Burger, New Zealand

12 Comments:

Hah so brilliant, wish all job descriptions sounded like that. They'd probably get much better staff that way,

EatersRegret at 11:35AM on 09/17/08

Kiwis, help a Yank out: what's a "P addict?"

me3dia at 12:08PM on 09/17/08

@me3dia: A meth addict.

Robyn Lee at 12:10PM on 09/17/08

"Murder Burger". Great idea for a name. I'll bet they'll make a killing ...

LunaPierCook at 12:24PM on 09/17/08

@Roboppy: Should I be worried that you know what a "P addict" is? We can get you help.

Adam Kuban at 12:50PM on 09/17/08

hehehe Mr. Stabby.

Laurel E at 1:35PM on 09/17/08

This plus Flight of the Conchords has me convinced that New Zealand is home to the coolest people on earth.

unarata at 3:31PM on 09/17/08

Murder burger is a colloquialism for white castle around here (bed-stuy, clinton hill), for a much different reason. It's still worth it though.

kiteless at 4:02PM on 09/17/08

What is are P addicts?

mayor of waldo at 10:48AM on 09/18/08

LOL, american companies could learn a lot from MB.

Tonecat at 8:00PM on 09/18/08

Happily, the burgers are as good as one would hope:
http://www.eatingauckland.com/2009/04/murder-burger-ponsonby.html

bookemdanno at 11:04PM on 05/15/09

kitty!

salemslot9 at 9:47AM on 05/16/09

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