Don't be fooled: This may look like a delicious cheeseburger, but it's actually a nuclear weapon.
Don't ask me what it tasted like; I don't know. All I know is, I took one bite, and the juices shot out in a scalding hot projectile, landing on my delicate skin and leaving me in pain.
Ouch!
How could a burger hurt me like that? I was in shock, and could hardly eat the rest. I did eventually persevere, and the darn thing was overcooked. Burned not once, but twice. As I composed an imaginary conversation between myself and the waitress, she came by and asked how everything was. I panicked and said it was great.
Obviously, I was lying, but she didn't know. The bloody napkin I'd turned into a makeshift ice-pack looked innocent enough, or maybe merely ketchuppy. It was just a mild burn, and besides, who was at fault? And what could anyone do about it anyway?
Has this ever happened to you? Usually there's some meaty drippiness to be found, but this stuff absolutely launched itself onto my hand. The burger itself wasn't very hot, which was that much more confusing. I didn't burn my mouth at all, and I continue to puzzle over what happened. Was the meat not allowed to rest before it was served? Stored upside-down? Stuffed with a hidden, heated, packet?
The good news is, I'm fine; shaken, but surviving. My next few meals, however, are going to be served quite cold.
I'm a little hesitant to sell them out in this public forum as the more people I talk to say this happens all the time with homemade cookouts and such. If
Never happened to me before, and I hope it never happens again. If it's worth mentioning, my buddy's burger did not behave the same way and he escaped completely unscathed.
OMG! Isn't that what happens when you microwave something? The insides are boiling, but the outer few millimeters stay relatively cool. I just don't see how or why one could nuke a burger patty.
Or my other theory, and more likely, is that it came right off the grill/pan/broiler and onto your plate and catapulted it's way to your table, all within a few seconds and you bit into it before the meat had a chance to "rest" and redistribute its juices.
I've never had a burger do it, but I did have a Nathan's hotdog do something similar--not fun.
And on a funnier, not painful note, I bit into a pepperoncini and juice squirted UP my nose. Cleared the sinuses right up!
No one said your job wasn't dangerous. Be intrepid my friend and keep eating. And remember, if it bites you, bite it back.
Yeah! Where is this place? As you point out, it happens now and again, so I don't think you'd be maligning them unfairly. I'm guessing somewhere in QNS.
In the interest of defending the burgers of Queens (and I'm pretty sure you just mentioned that to goad me into responding), this was a burger from Stout on 33rd St, right here in the Fashion District.
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7 Comments:
Where was this burger that I should avoid?
kenjialtci at 4:11PM on 03/11/08
Hmm...that looks like Mugs Ale House.....am I right?
Huffy at 11:21AM on 03/12/08
Nope.
I'm a little hesitant to sell them out in this public forum as the more people I talk to say this happens all the time with homemade cookouts and such. If
Never happened to me before, and I hope it never happens again. If it's worth mentioning, my buddy's burger did not behave the same way and he escaped completely unscathed.
Lauren Krueger at 12:55PM on 03/12/08
Nice Bling Lauren....!
BigWoollyMammoth at 3:09PM on 03/12/08
OMG! Isn't that what happens when you microwave something? The insides are boiling, but the outer few millimeters stay relatively cool. I just don't see how or why one could nuke a burger patty.
Or my other theory, and more likely, is that it came right off the grill/pan/broiler and onto your plate and catapulted it's way to your table, all within a few seconds and you bit into it before the meat had a chance to "rest" and redistribute its juices.
I've never had a burger do it, but I did have a Nathan's hotdog do something similar--not fun.
And on a funnier, not painful note, I bit into a pepperoncini and juice squirted UP my nose. Cleared the sinuses right up!
No one said your job wasn't dangerous. Be intrepid my friend and keep eating. And remember, if it bites you, bite it back.
wookie at 3:11PM on 03/12/08
Yeah! Where is this place? As you point out, it happens now and again, so I don't think you'd be maligning them unfairly. I'm guessing somewhere in QNS.
Adam Kuban at 3:34PM on 03/13/08
Adam,
In the interest of defending the burgers of Queens (and I'm pretty sure you just mentioned that to goad me into responding), this was a burger from Stout on 33rd St, right here in the Fashion District.
Lauren Krueger at 5:57PM on 03/18/08