Our friend and Serious Eats contributor Blake Royer over at The Paupered Chef spent way too much time conducting some obsessive pseudoscientific kitchen experiments with his new KitchenAid mixer and a meat-grinding attachment trying to come up with the perfect burger recipe. But that's why we love him. The results are exhaustive, hilarious, and come replete with clever cattle line drawings.
Blake's verdict: Equal parts freshly ground untrimmed brisket and sirloin—what Royer refers to as the Shake Shack mixture. Our only question: How come he didn't invite any of the serious eaters to the burger party? The dude made 36 burgers, and we didn't get a bite of one. That's not right.