Does the absence of cheese define a hamburger? Preposterous! Why then, is there no such thing as a "double hamburger"? The Dust Machine makes the case:
if i want unsweetened tea, do i order 'sweet tea without sugar?' no.
if i want a sausage biscuit, do i order a 'sausage and egg biscuit without egg?' no.
My dear old dad is a "hamburgers only" guy who loves the Wendy's 99¢ menu. He consistently orders the Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe with "cheese on the side." This has provoked quite a bit of a dialog between us in which I insist that he can simply order it sans cheese and he firmly believes this will invalidate the price. So then, the man ends up every time with a Junior Hamburger Deluxe (fictional item) and a slice of cheese on a Styrofoam plate.
If they will hold the lettuce, or the tomato, or the condiments, then they will surely hold the cheese. The styrofoam plate they give him kills their profit on the deal.
I would think they'd be overjoyed to hold the cheese.
But just in case, he could asked them to hold the cheese while wearing a Richard Nixon mask, and drive off if they tried to charge him extra. That way they wouldn't recognize him as the "hold the cheese" guy when he came back.
He might want to use a getaway driver too just in case the caper turns ugly ... and a lookout man.
The irony of Wendy's cheese being served on styrofoam is too ominous to ignore. Fast food can be hazardous to your health, folks, when you don't know the facts. Chemically speaking, only a few molecules separate styrofoam from processed cheese food (which is quite different from real cheese), and oleo margarine is but one molecule different from plastic. Unless I know for sure, I always suspect that restaurant "cheese" is a man-made, FDA approved filler/taste enhancer, and not really food at all. Likewise, their "butter" probably comes from a factory, not a dairy. So, I order my baked potato with sour cream (it's real) only at Wendy's and always ask for no cheese, please, no matter what sandwich I order. And it's always service with a smile and no extra charge. Your dad has the right to order his cheese on the side or to omit it. In either case, he is wise not to eat it.
Exodus 34: And the L-rd said to Moses, observe thou that which I command thee this day: behold, nearly 4000 years from now, inhabitants of the land will create a food called "the cheeseburger". Of that thou shalt not eat, even though it might be juicy and yummy and tempting. Make it without the cheese, so that thou might eat it. And wash your hands first.
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7 Comments:
And I'm sure that side of cheese is every bit as tasty as the styrofoam plate upon which it is served. Mmmm.
challah at 9:52AM on 11/16/07
how does your dad feel about the junior whopper? for my money, it slightly edges out the junior cheeseburger deluxe.
foodinmouth at 10:25AM on 11/16/07
foodinmouth: I'll have to ask!
Lauren Krueger at 12:59PM on 11/16/07
If they will hold the lettuce, or the tomato, or the condiments, then they will surely hold the cheese. The styrofoam plate they give him kills their profit on the deal.
I would think they'd be overjoyed to hold the cheese.
But just in case, he could asked them to hold the cheese while wearing a Richard Nixon mask, and drive off if they tried to charge him extra. That way they wouldn't recognize him as the "hold the cheese" guy when he came back.
He might want to use a getaway driver too just in case the caper turns ugly ... and a lookout man.
redfish at 1:40PM on 11/16/07
That's the spirit, redfish! Just because he's paranoid doesn't mean they're not after him.
Lauren Krueger at 3:30PM on 11/16/07
The irony of Wendy's cheese being served on styrofoam is too ominous to ignore. Fast food can be hazardous to your health, folks, when you don't know the facts. Chemically speaking, only a few molecules separate styrofoam from processed cheese food (which is quite different from real cheese), and oleo margarine is but one molecule different from plastic. Unless I know for sure, I always suspect that restaurant "cheese" is a man-made, FDA approved filler/taste enhancer, and not really food at all. Likewise, their "butter" probably comes from a factory, not a dairy. So, I order my baked potato with sour cream (it's real) only at Wendy's and always ask for no cheese, please, no matter what sandwich I order. And it's always service with a smile and no extra charge. Your dad has the right to order his cheese on the side or to omit it. In either case, he is wise not to eat it.
pattyplus at 2:57PM on 11/18/07
Exodus 34: And the L-rd said to Moses, observe thou that which I command thee this day: behold, nearly 4000 years from now, inhabitants of the land will create a food called "the cheeseburger". Of that thou shalt not eat, even though it might be juicy and yummy and tempting. Make it without the cheese, so that thou might eat it. And wash your hands first.
ralphkramden at 4:11PM on 11/24/07