In D.C., 13 upscale burgers are ranked by food writer Jane Black in the Washington Post. Do click through to the Post for the whole shebang, as we've only paraphrased here what Black had to say there about each of the joints.

They're all fancy-pants places, so if that's not your bag, you know what to do. Listed in descending order of awesomeness, as determined by Ms. Black:

Central Michel Richard
Slow-cooked tomato slice in olive oil, sugar, salt, pepper, and rosemary. Hmm. That sounds pretty whatevs. Topped with paper-thin potato disks for a crunchy foil to the juicy meat. 1001 Pennsylvania Avenue NW [map]; 202-626-0015

Palena
House-made buns based on pastry chef's recipe for Parker rolls. Topped with a northern Italian cheese with a hint of truffle. 3529 Connecticut Avenue NW [map]; 202-537-9250

EatBar
Chef mixes butter, shallots, garlic, rosemary, and salt and pepper into the meat. Served with homemade bread-and-butter pickles. 2761 Washington Boulevard, Arlington VA 22201 [map]; 703-778-5051

BLT Steak
Black doesn't have much to say about it other than it's good. 1625 I Street NW [map]; 202-689-8999

Charlie Palmer Steak
"Walks line between manly beef and haute cuisine," with poppy seed buns made from scratch each morning and balsamic onions. 101 Constitution Avenue NW [map]; 202-547-8100

Morton's
Seasoned with salt, pepper, and a little tomato juice. Supermarket-style bun and lackluster toppings a disappointment. 1050 Connecticut Avenue NW [map]; 202-955-5997

Black's Bar and Kitchen
Reading the author's description, this one doesn't seem like it made that much of an impression on her. 77540 Woodmont Avenue, Bethesda MD [map]; 301-652-5525

Sonoma Restaurant and Wine Bar
"A lovely smokiness" from the wood-fired grill. Stellar toppings. 223 Pennsylvania Avenue SE [map]; 202-544-8088

Ardeo
Bacon, avocado, sautéed onions, cheese, and chipotle. At the same time. On the burger. Too much, Ms. Black says. 3311 Connecticut Avenue NW [map]; 202-244-6750

D.C. Coast
Cheese, sauce, and bun "overwhelm the poor burger." 1401 K Street NW [map]; 202-216-5988

The Capital Grille
Ultra juicy sirloin burger with a downer of a bun (stale-tasting onion roll). Ms. Black doesn't dig the havarti cheese, either. 601 Pennsylvania Avenue NW [map]; 202-737-6200

Vermillion
Forgettable.

Les Halles
Also forgettable.

Seeking Bliss on a Bun [Washington Post]