Photograph from iStockPhoto.com

Craig LaBan, food critic of the Philadelphia Inquirer, did a great roundup of the City of Brotherly Love's most lovingly awesome burgers last week.

The burgers are not ranked, but each is an exemplar of its own uniquely named genre, like the sandwich from Rouge, which LaBan dubs "The Show-Off" for its ostentatious proportions: "The enormous 13-ounce patties, topped with Gruyere, hydroponic Boston bibb, and butter-toasted brioche buns, are tailor-made for turning heads at a cafe that's all about being seen."

The list also includes, but is not limited to: Charlie's Hamburgers, Snow White, Barclay Prime, and Good Dog Bar & Restaurant, whose blue-cheese-stuffed burgers inspired LaBan to write a brilliant little song, "Cheeseburger, I Hold," the lyrics of which appear after the jump. (Here's the video for "Cheeseburger, I Hold.")

Related: Philly is well represented on Alan Richman's seminal top-twenty burger list ("The 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die"), with Rouge placing No. 4 and the Kobe sliders at Barclay Prime at No. 5.

Cheeseburger, I Hold | by Craig LaBan

Truffles fall like snowflakes, on my plate
Sparkling crystal goblets always brim with wine
I can eat anything that I want, ’cause it’s my job
I’m a hungry man for hire.
And still, nothing sets my soul to sizzle
Like a fresh-ground patty on the grill…

Chorus:
Cheeseburger, I hold
Mischief heart of liquid bleu
Cheeseburger, I hold
You melt into mine

All my life, I’ve been a burger chaser
That perfect simple sandwich shouldn’t be so hard to find
But how many times have I been sorry, after just one bite
To find a fraud between the buns
The patty smashers! (No juice! No juice!)
The topping fools! (Pile the pink tomatoes on!)
The fast food stand-ins for good old school
So when the grinder’s gift hears that charcoal song
Lay your best Roquefort and crisp bacon on!

Chorus

I remember: Krazy Jim’s Blimpy Burgers, Mo’s in Frisco, In-N-Out
Barclay’s sliders, Rouge’s biggies, on the Boardwalk I love Brown’s
Burger Heaven in Manhattan , Tommy’s Westwood chile bombs
Midnight snacks at the Camellia, in the Quarter Port of Call
But then the Good Dog Bar turned my patties inside out
So when I took a bite, love came rushing out.

Chorus