Grilled: Mr. McChronicles

Posted by Adam Kuban, March 5, 2007 at 6:00 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, I happened across the McChronicles shortly after starting A Hamburger Today. It's a blog written by one very McDonald's-obsessed man. At first, I thought it was some sort of McD's guerrilla-marketing stunt, but after reading the site for a few months, it became clear that the man who I came to think of as "Mr. McChronicles" (the author maintains anonymity on the site, so I have nothing else to call him) had no affiliation with the chain other than eating at it frequently and critiquing it. I finally got around to giving him the third degree last week. So, without further ado, let's get Grillin'! —The Mgmt.

Name: The McChronicles
Location: New York
Occupation:

So you're essentially a "customer evangelist" for McDonald's. Let's get this out of the way, since a lot of AHT readers will have the same question I do: Do you work for McD's?
Some people are "sure" I do, many wonder if I do (and ask). The truth is that I don't, never have, and think that working at a McDonald's (as a crew member) would ruin the relationship I currently have (as a pure consumer). Being hired as a "fake blogger" is a reprehensible thought to me, considering the goal of the McChronicles blog. I have absolutely no affiliation with the company, or any related organization, in any way.

Why McDonald's? When did your fascination with the chain begin?
Like many people, I have something within me that has a very positive reaction to McDonald's. Once, while entering a McDonald's with a middle-aged, college-educated engineer, he turned to me and said, "No matter how many times I go to McDonald's, and no matter how old I am, when I walk in I always feel like a kid." That statement hit me hard because I feel the very same way. I never articulated it, or thought much about it, but I do share the exact same feelings.

OK—so that "something" inside me probably started in the '60s. Like everyone else of my era, I grew along with McDonald's. Face it, in the early days, they were like the awkward kid next door—interesting and amusing as they found their way. At some point they reached their stride and became significant. Their ads got stronger, more persuasive. Their message became more compelling and personally meaningful. Eventually, for a young kid, McDonald's was high on my short list of really cool places to go (or to aspire to go). But I had two big problems: I lived very far from the nearest McDonald's (and rarely traveled), and my family was very poor. As a result, I don't think I went to a McDonald's until I was 12. Even then, I had to borrow money from a friend to be able to buy something.

During my college years, I lived near a few McDonald's. With money from a part-time job I was able to eat there occasionally. It felt good. My first pre-date with my wife was at a McDonald's.

After I got my first "real" job, I discovered that there was a McDonald's right around the corner from where I worked. It always felt like a real treat when I ate there. At one point, 100 percent of my entire consumption was from McDonald's for well over 30 days. I never really kept track because it wasn't a big deal to me (this was in the late '70s, pre-Super Size Me). I didn't gain weight or feel bad. No big deal.

Fast forward to the modern era. Having an undergraduate degree in business (focus on international business), an MBA, and 25 years of business experience, and being responsible for a corporation's entire global marketing and communications program, I had become relatively astute in business, marketing, advertising, and the like. I would often sit with my wife during lunch and comment on my observations on how the McDonald's we were sitting in seemed to be doing.

With my consumer hat on, I slowly adopted the role of "every customer." I observed as moms schlepped their kids in and out, as the retired rallied for coffee, as business people swooped in for a quick bite, and as teens co-opted McDonald's as their "third place." And, with my businessperson hat on, I studied the crew, the managers, the owners, the corporation, the delivery people, the facilities, the advertising, the challenges of running the business of McDonald's. As my observations, comments, praises, and criticisms mounted, my wife grew a bit frustrated. One day she said, "I can't do anything about these things you are pointing out. Why don't you organize your thoughts and tell someone who can do something about them?" Bam! It hit me. She was right. I was driving her nuts and wasting my time. So, I turned to blogging.

Blogging about the same subject over and over is challenging. Do you ever get tired of blogging about McD's?
I have a very full and challenging life, by design. I occasionally get tired but never of the things I choose to do. I really enjoy blogging, especially about McDonald's. It feels extremely good to experience the delivery on the promise—to see the McDonald's that we've all been sold—happen right before my eyes. I'm talking about interviewing a young crew and learning about how they've grown because of the job, about watching a young family enjoy a tremendous meal together on a Saturday afternoon. It is almost magical. I love sharing my observations and opinions via the blog.

Has anyone from the company ever contacted you?
One time Steve Wilson, McDonald's senior director of web communications, pointed out to me that he had started a Squidoo lens titled The McDonald's You Don't Know. We rarely "chat," and if we do, it is purely on the topic of a blog posting. Nothing more than that. He seems interesting and smart.

I rarely comment on McDonald's corporate blog, Open For Discussion, and have chatted with its author, Bob Langert, the company's vice president for corporate social responsibility, maybe two or three times online (very briefly and only on blog topics).

And I was updated once by a McDonald's PR agency regarding a coffee promo going on in the tri-state area. It was a glorified press release, really. I ended up posting about the event, post-event, asking if anyone had participated. [I wonder if it was Zoe Hamburger who contacted you! —Ed.]

How often do you eat burgers?
Four times per week, plus or minus one. During Lent, I switch to Filet-O-Fish on Fridays.

Do I even need to ask you where you ate your most recent one?
Nope. [Didn't think so! —Ed.]

How many states have you eaten McD's in? How many countries (and what's the most far-flung McDonald's you've eaten in)?
Throughout the U.S. and in Canada, Mexico, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, Malaysia, New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, Netherlands, France, England, Ireland, Scotland, Sweden, Belgium, Italy, Austria, and a few more.

Do you eat any other burgers besides Ronnie's?
A meat market I know, Hapanowicz Brothers, makes the best hamburger patties. These are the only hamburgers we let into our house. As for other QSRs, no. I don't go there. It's not a matter of principle or anything. I just can't bring myself to go there when I could enjoy McDonald's as easily.

Would you do us the favor of describing your perfect burger? (Price and ingredients are no object.)
It depends on the situation. For example:

• Average workday, lunch with my wife: two McDonald's hamburgers


• summer day at home: one Hapanowicz burger, low heat, frequent turning to eliminate any charring, medium rare, with diced onions, a little ketchup (sweetness and moistness), a small amount of Nance's Sharp & Creamy mustard (for slight zest)

One important point (for me) is that the patty, and the entire finished creation, be small and easy to manage in my hands. I hate messes, things falling out, juice running down my arms, dripping onto my shirt, etc. The Big Mac, while tasty, violates this rule and causes me great consternation. White Castle–sized burgers are too small for me. The bun-to-meat ratio is all out of whack.

What topping or condiment, in your opinion, should never grace a burger?
Anything spicy really turns me off (I am a wimp when it comes to hot spices). I'm still not sure if a pickle's flavor resonates with the characteristics that I enjoy in a hamburger.

And then, there is the answer to your next question. My ultimate no-no...

What's the most unusual burger you've ever eaten? (Or most unusual burger experience you've had?)
Australia's fascination with the beetroot (beet) is simply shocking to me. I can't imagine even putting the thought together, let alone the actual McOz. The very thought of it is disgusting.

What's the most overrated burger you've tried?
I always seem to be nonplussed with any "burger joint" hamburger that comes recommended by the locals. It seems that the emphasis is placed on juice, huge proportions, and an excessive amount of stuff hanging out around the bun. I've never experienced a "gourmet" hamburger, and would appreciate the chance. [Next time you visit New York City, let's do "gourmet" burgers. —Ed.]

Most underrated?
The McDonald's hamburger.

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Burger Joints Referenced
McDonald's: Several locations worldwide; mcdonalds.com
White Castle: Several locations, mostly in the Northeast; whitecastle.com

Further Reading and Relevant Links
McChronicles, Mr. McChronicles's blog about all things Mickey D
McChronicles on Flickr
The McDonald's You Don't Know, a Squidoo lens written by Steve Wilson, McD's senior director of web communications
Open for Discussion, McDonald's blog on corporate responsibility
Other Grilled interviews [The AHT Archives]

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Tags: chain burgers, Grilled, McDonald's