A Hamburger Today- aht.seriouseats.com

Grilled: Zoe Hamburger

Posted by Adam Kuban, February 12, 2007 at 6:00 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, a couple months ago, I received an email from AHT reader Zoe Hamburger. Yes, you read that right. Zoe Hamburger. Heh. Ms. Hamburger wrote some kind words about AHT and mentioned that she especially liked the Grilled feature. I wrote back that, with a name like hers and given her job (keep reading for enlightenment, dear reader), she could be Grilled herself. I was delighted when she agreed. And so, without further ado, let's get Grillin'! —The Mgmt.

Name: Zoe Hamburger
Location: New York City
Occupation: MWW Group, in the Consumer Marketing division working for McDonald's

That's your real name?
Yes.

Really?
Yup.

It's not just a shameless ploy to appear among the illustrious alumni of our Grilled Q&A feature?
It would be a pretty good scam, but you can't make this stuff up.

So you've heard a lot of burger jokes in your life—any memorable ones? What's been the cheesiest?
Aside from you asking what the cheesiest burger joke has been? When I was younger the cable company sent the bill to Bacon Double Cheeseburger instead of Peter W. Hamburger. My family thought it was hilarious. You have to have a good sense of humor if your last name is Hamburger.

Since I started working with McDonald's, I've gotten more jokes than ever. I’ve had reporters hang up, people call the main line of MWW to see if I was for real.... The jokes are endless, but usually not memorable.

Do you feel your name guided your career path? Perhaps it was silently guiding you to work toward the promotion of hamburgers?
Maybe it's in the name, but I've always loved food. My dad used to give cooking lessons; my mom was a restaurant critic and has written two cookbooks, so it’s definitely in my blood. Still, if anyone had told me a year ago that I would be working with McDonald's, I would have thought they were crazy.

How often do you eat burgers?
About once a week.

Cheese: American, cheddar, other?
Depends on the burger, the location, and my mood. For example, I usually reserve American for summertime grill-outs. For a safe reliable choice, I usually go with cheddar and sometimes Swiss. I think I get the most excited over a good blue-cheese burger, but I need the right cheese with the perfect burger. I love the blue-cheese burger at the Spotted Pig. It has the perfect ratio and melts so nicely!

Ketchup or mustard?
Usually ketchup.

Sesame-seed or plain?
I really don't care for most buns, unless it is something special.

Grilled, griddled, or broiled?
Griddled in a hot cast-iron pan.

And how would you like that done, miss?
Medium-rare, please.

Where'd you have your most recent one?
My last burger was on Friday. I got a Happy Meal on my way to a meeting. Delicious as always!

Would you do us the favor of describing your perfect burger? (Price and ingredients are no object.)
Start with a half pound of freshly ground chuck quickly molded to a thickness of about an inch and a quarter. Chill it in the fridge, then season both sides with kosher salt and coarsely ground black pepper, then put it on a hot, seasoned cast-iron pan with a tablespoon of butter for four and half minutes, flip it and put on a thick slab of blue cheese, like a sharp and creamy Roquefort, and cook it for barely five more minutes. The hamburger has a crunchy black outside, juicy pink center, no bun, but it is topped with sautéed onions, served on a warm plate with a pool of room temperature ketchup on the side.

The hamburger is a food item with which most Americans have strong childhood associations. Do you remember your earliest encounter with this delicious dish?
I don't know if it is my earliest encounter, but I remember going to Kenn's Broome Street Bar in SoHo when I was very young. I would sit on the wide windowsill next the table and enjoy a plain burger served in a pita pocket with potato chips.

I also remember my first cheeseburger was at Walker's in TriBeCa. I was probably six or seven and was convinced by my friend to split it with her. I haven’t been to Walker’s since, but I have been an avid lover of cheeseburgers since my first encounter.

What's your favorite fast-food burger?
McDonald's cheeseburgers! [Did I even need to ask?—Ed.]

What topping or condiment, in your opinion, should never grace a burger?
I'm pretty much open to anything, but I can't say I am a fan of chile cheeseburgers or pizza burgers. Too much going on for my liking.

What's the most unusual burger you've ever eaten? (Or most unusual burger experience you've had?)
I think it is the Aussie Lot Burger at the Sunburnt Cow, which has bacon, a fried egg, beets, cheese, onions, grilled pineapple, lettuce, and tomato on a toasted bun. I've had it a couple times. Very tasty but has so much going on that I almost don’t think of it as a hamburger.

What's the most overrated burger you've tried? Most underrated?
Overrated is definitely Corner Bistro. I just don't see what the big deal is.

I don't know if it's really underrated, but I love the cheeseburger at Balthazar, and I never read or hear of anyone else ordering it.

For some crazy reason, you're going vegetarian. Where do you go for your final burger?
It's sort of funny that around 7th grade I decided I wasn't eating red meat. This was very alarming to my dad that Zoe Hamburger would not eat hamburgers. Obviously, I outgrew it. If I had to go vegetarian, I don’t think I would be able to choose one last hamburger, so I would have to eat two: I would have my dad make me the perfect burger (please see my dream burger above), and then I would go to J. G. Melon. The burgers are so simple and comfortable. The meat is the perfect texture, and the bun is soft, plain, and reliable, ideal to hold the burger, pickles, and ketchup to complement the crinkle-cut cottage fries on the side. The only trick is that once you pick it up, you have to start eating it since you can’t put it down.

BURGER JOINTS REFERENCED
McDonald's: Several locations worldwide; mcdonalds.com
The Spotted Pig: 314 West 11th Street, New York NY 10014; thespottedpig.com
Kenn's Broome Street Bar: 363 Broadway, New York NY 10013; broomestreetbar.citysearch.com
Walker's: 16 North Moore Street, New York NY 10013
The Sunburnt Cow: 137 Avenue C, New York NY 10009; thesunburntcow.com
Corner Bistro: 331 West 4th Street, New York City 10014; cornerbistro.citysearch.com
Balthazar: 80 Spring Street, New York NY 10012; balthazarny.com
J. G. Melon: 1291 Third Avenue, New York NY 10021

FURTHER READING
Other Grilled interviews [The AHT Archives]

4 Comments | Tags: chain burgers, Grilled