A Hamburger Today is honored to throw down in The Carnivore Project's meatastic Meat Bracket, a no-holds-barred sock-'em-up among different types of meat. In the first round, we're representin' HAMBURGER and are going hoof-to-hoof with LAMB. The idea is that a blogger picks a meat to champion, makes a blog post to convey the preeminence of his or her meat, and then readers vote for a winner. I think we'll take this hands down. Burgers rule the world; all HAMBURGER pretty much has to do is show up. LAMB don't stand a chance. —The Mgmt.
They're coming to get you, Baa-baa ...
The month of March—in like a lion, out like a lamb, they say. And how does a lamb go out? Usually as some sort of biblical sacrifice or as the logo for a pop tartlet's vanity clothing line.
When's the last time you had lamb? And when did you eat your last burger? At lunch today? I thought so.
OK, maybe that last one's a bad example. But here, check out all these other popular favorites. The burger is burned into your brain, my friend, and is part of your life in ways that lamb has never been and will never be. Thus you have no choice but to head to the Carnivore Project and VOTE FOR HAMBURGER
HAMBURGER was with you as a child:
HAMBURGER took many forms and traveled to many different countries as if by magic ...
HAMBURGER saw you through the lean times ...
And HAMBURGER just may have taught you how to do your first job ...
What did LAMB do? Just sit there shaking his tail?
What can I say? If I lose, I'm proud of having lost to this guy. It's one hell of a defence. I'm not proud of having lost to 'burger' though. It's embarrassing to lose in the meat bracket to something that isn't even a meat. Ho-hum...
I agree with Dan. "Burger" isn't a type or cut of meat. It's a created food item. I hate when people use burger or even hamburger interchangeably with ground beef. You can make lots of things with ground beef, y'know. Tacos, Shepherd's Pie, Sloppy Joes, Cabbage Rolls. A burger is not the only thing made with ground beef. The two are not synonymous. So this apparent battle is between ground beef and ground lamb? Or between a ground beef burger patty and a ground lamb burger patty? Let's just classify it correctly, please.
Furthermore, I object on the grounds that a burger can be properly classified as any ground meat patty on a bun. That's why a ground meat lamb patty on a bun is called a lamb burger. Not a lamb sandwich. Or a ground chicken patty on a bun is called a chicken burger. The term burger does not refer exclusively to ground beef patty sandwiches.
Geez. Lighten up people. Then go vote lamb. ;) Seriously, though. I guess I was a bit shortsighted in championing the hamburger sandwich instead of hamburger in general. Perhaps, if I win, I will clarify the definition and expand my argument to include even more tasty items. I will need them if I go up against Steak or Bacon...
I dunno. The narrowest definition of a burger (hamburger sandwich) is by far the best - if you open it up too much, you have to start defending ground-chicken-on-a-bun which is just bizarre. Then again, Steak has the same problem.
Oh. I meant "hamburger meat" as in "ground beef," not like, say, "chicken burger" or "lamb burger." I guess my thinking, when I saw I was to defend "hamburger" honor, was of a hamburger sandwich -- bun, cheese, etc. Not as the meat.
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I ask you ... Is there a lamburger in paradise? Now that would remind me of a menu at a Holiday Inn. 
12 Comments:
Fantastic.
Hamburger Lebowski at 8:06AM on 01/18/07
Well, it's alright I suppose... Good work, fella - now go vote Lamb!
Hamburger Dan at 1:30PM on 01/18/07
Awesome.
Hamburger Jared at 7:18PM on 01/18/07
Oh boy. You went nuclear with the YouTube. That's some serious escalation and bound to clear everything in its path. We are all at your mercy.
Hamburger The Guilty Carnivore at 10:14PM on 01/18/07
What can I say? If I lose, I'm proud of having lost to this guy. It's one hell of a defence. I'm not proud of having lost to 'burger' though. It's embarrassing to lose in the meat bracket to something that isn't even a meat. Ho-hum...
Hamburger Dan at 12:48AM on 01/19/07
I agree with Dan. "Burger" isn't a type or cut of meat. It's a created food item. I hate when people use burger or even hamburger interchangeably with ground beef. You can make lots of things with ground beef, y'know. Tacos, Shepherd's Pie, Sloppy Joes, Cabbage Rolls. A burger is not the only thing made with ground beef. The two are not synonymous. So this apparent battle is between ground beef and ground lamb? Or between a ground beef burger patty and a ground lamb burger patty? Let's just classify it correctly, please.
Hamburger Andie at 2:40PM on 01/19/07
Furthermore, I object on the grounds that a burger can be properly classified as any ground meat patty on a bun. That's why a ground meat lamb patty on a bun is called a lamb burger. Not a lamb sandwich. Or a ground chicken patty on a bun is called a chicken burger. The term burger does not refer exclusively to ground beef patty sandwiches.
Hamburger Andie at 2:43PM on 01/19/07
Geez. Lighten up people. Then go vote lamb. ;) Seriously, though. I guess I was a bit shortsighted in championing the hamburger sandwich instead of hamburger in general. Perhaps, if I win, I will clarify the definition and expand my argument to include even more tasty items. I will need them if I go up against Steak or Bacon...
Adam Kuban at 5:51PM on 01/19/07
I dunno. The narrowest definition of a burger (hamburger sandwich) is by far the best - if you open it up too much, you have to start defending ground-chicken-on-a-bun which is just bizarre. Then again, Steak has the same problem.
Hamburger Jared at 5:58PM on 01/19/07
Oh. I meant "hamburger meat" as in "ground beef," not like, say, "chicken burger" or "lamb burger." I guess my thinking, when I saw I was to defend "hamburger" honor, was of a hamburger sandwich -- bun, cheese, etc. Not as the meat.
Adam Kuban at 6:49PM on 01/19/07
Lamb is making a scary run for the upset. I think it may be time to rally some hamburger troops. Polls close Tuesday and Vegas is scared.
Hamburger Jared at 7:55PM on 01/20/07
Ooh, that's a shocker, burgers down to 46%. Snails UP, UP, UP.
Hamburger Graham at 8:03AM on 01/21/07