A Hamburger Today- aht.seriouseats.com

Grilled: Honey P.

Posted by Adam Kuban, January 22, 2007 at 5:22 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to be a little self-indulgent. This week's Grilled features Honey P., one of A Hamburger Today's founding editors. While we're a little averse to the sound of our own keyboards tapping, we thought you might want to know more about the folks who had a hand in making this site what it is. And so, without further ado, let's get Grillin'! —The Mgmt.

Name: Honey P.
Location: New York City
Occupation: Journalist

How often do you eat burgers?
Used to be about two times a week but too much Oprah and Dr. Mehmet Oz has me paranoid about heart disease so I’m averaging about one patty every one to two weeks. Regardless, I usually can’t resist.

Where did you eat your most recent one?
At an old school drive-in called the Charcoaler in El Paso, Texas. I had the area’s classic green chile burger. It was fantastic, no grease, fresh ingredients, perfectly palm size, and it tasted like you grilled it yourself in the backyard.

American, cheddar, other?
Cheddar, blue, gruyère or jalapeño Jack. I reserve American for summertime grill-outs and the Fourth, when you can’t seem to escape it. But it really does melt so well onto the burger. I just can’t renounce my expensive tastes. Well, not yet.

Ketchup or mustard?
Depends what else is on the burger for me. For example, ketchup and cheddar make a perfect pair, but if the burger has bacon and blue cheese, then I like a Dijon mustard. With American, Heinz and French’s is a classic combo. And for a really wild time, a mayo-ketchup mix is usually super tasty.

Sesame-seed or plain?
I don’t really care. The makeup of the bun is more important—soft, so it soaks up the juices but hearty enough that it holds the thing together and doesn’t fall apart. I like the taste sesame adds but it’s not deciding factor.

Grilled, griddled, or broiled?
Grilled. ‘Cause an open flame does a burger right. Despite some of the haters around here, I love the Corner Bistro burger, and I know that’s broiled, so perhaps broiled is my second choice.

And how would you like that done, miss?
Medium is my rule of thumb, but if your meat can hold its own, then medium-rare.

Would you do us the favor of describing your perfect burger?
Coarsely ground patty, the way J.G. Melon’s does it. I think the raw version should look as good enough to eat as the cooked version. Think amazing steak tartare. I want a burger that’s seriously seared on the outside and overly juicy on the inside. There should be pink throughout the center, and though I do like patties of all sizes, a medium-thick burger is just right. Restaurants usually get it too big, and fast-food chains too small, so the perfect version is right in between.

The hamburger is a food item with which most Americans have strong childhood associations. Do you remember your earliest encounter with this delicious dish?
I don’t really remember my first hamburger, but I do remember my first serious craving for one. We were in New Dehli, where most of my family is either vegetarian or doesn’t eat the sacred cow (please forgive me, Krishna). I was about 5 or 6 and feeling fully deprived of my favorite food. I asked my mother when I would be able to eat a McDonald’s hamburger. I felt so miserable, like I wouldn’t live if I didn’t eat one soon. A week later, we arrived in Singapore, where I sunk my teeth into one and knew I was on my way back home.

What's your favorite fast-food burger?
In-N-Out; Winstead’s, which I reviewed here; and I haven’t had one in awhile, but a BK's Whopper is a damn good hamburger.

What topping or condiment, in your opinion, should never grace a burger?
Marinara sauce. It’s just not a burger anymore once you go there. Get a meatball sandwich, and forget about that thing they call a "pizza burger." While we’re on the subject, crisp and greasy bacon for me is the perfect condiment.

What's the most unusual burger you've ever eaten?
Once in Kansas City, I was with Hamburglar Hadley at Tanner’s Bar & Grill, and he ordered a burger with pineapple, bacon and Swiss on it. It was supposed to be Hawaiian-themed. To me, it didn’t taste like a burger, and I don’t like sweet things too much, but it was still a bold menu option, and I’m glad I tried it. Other interesting combinations I like: grilled egg or à cheval at Pastis, where the yolk is perfectly liquid so it melts into the meat; Western Bacon Cheeseburger at Carl’s Jr., ‘cause nothing beats barbecue sauce and a fast-food onion-ring topping; and, when I was a kid, a Mickey D’s cheeseburger with crispy Happy Meal French fries tucked into the sandwich.

What's the most overrated burger you've tried? Most underrated?
DB Bistro. I’ll take my foie gras without burger and vice versa. I’m not sure if they still do it with the short rib too, but when I had it years ago (smack in the days of the hype), it was foie gras and black truffles surrounded by short rib surrounded by burger. It’s like a turducken. None of the flavors enhanced the other. Kind of like a Willy Wonka experience where you first taste burger, then a plate of short ribs, and then the heady foie gras and black truffle. To me, that wasn’t a satisfying meal. And it was teeny and served with puffed potato-chip things that weren’t very good. I also think Five Points is overrated. They never cook it right. It’s always too bloody to the point that you don’t even taste the other ingredients. And I’ve given them several chances to redeem themselves.

For some crazy reason, you're going vegetarian. Where do you go for your final burger?
Well, if we’re going crazy, then why not go all the way? Not eating meat I assume probably means I won’t be cooking it much, so I’d take the opportunity to make my last meaty meal myself. I’d start with really good-quality meat from Florence Meat Market, maybe a mix of sirloin and chuck (you need a marbled cut in there). Then I’d grind it myself in either the food processor or using one of those fancy attachments to the KitchenAid. I’d keep it simple, just salt and pepper and a really hot grill. Finished with Tillamook cheddar, raw onion, pickle, and ketchup and then cradled between a lightly grilled super soft potato roll. For reals, that’s a supersweet ending to a life of eat-meat mania. If all that failed though, I think I’d just head straight to DuMont Burger. There’s just something about that juicy burger that is perfect in every way. And, once you’ve finished it, you feel completely satisfied with life.

BURGER JOINTS REFERENCED
The Charcoaler: 5837 North Mesa Street, El Paso TX 79912
Corner Bistro: 331 West 4th Street, New York City 10014; cornerbistro.citysearch.com
J.G. Melon: 1291 Third Avenue, New York NY 10021
McDonald's: Locations worldwide; McDonald's India, where you can't get a hamburger. McDonald's Singapore, where you can.
In-N-Out Burger: Various locations in California, New Mexico, and Arizona; in-n-out.com
Winstead's: Various locations in Kansas City metro area; winsteadskc.com
Burger King: Various locations worldwide; burgerking.com
Tanner's Bar & Grill: Various locations in Kansas City metro area, one in Nebraska; tannersbarandgrill.com
Pastis: 9 Ninth Avenue, New York City NY 10014; pastisny.com
Carl's Jr.: Various locations, West Coast; carlsjr.com
DB Bistro Moderne: 55 West 44th Street, New York NY 10036; http://www.danielnyc.com/dbbistro/
DuMont Burger: 432 Union Avenue, Brooklyn NY 11206; dumontrestaurant.com/dburger.html

FURTHER READING
About Honey P. [AHT "About" page]
All posts by Honey P. [AHT Archives]
Other Grilled interviews [AHT Archives]

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