Two things continue to make this country what it is: hamburgers and litigation. However, we agree with our nation's normally befuddled legislators that they are two great tastes that don't necessarily go great together.

20050509Bill.jpgConsider this A Hamburger Today's endorsement of the Cheeseburger Bill, currently trying to squeeze its way through the refuse-strewn small intestine of Congress. The Cheeseburger Bill (not to be confused with our nation's 42nd president) seeks to curb obesity lawsuits against fast-food restaurants.

Passing the bill, officially known as the Personal Responsibility in Food Consumption Act, would be welcome news for McDonald's, one of the only companies so far to have seen (unsuccessful) legal action taken against its restaurants. However, that particular case is down but not completely out, and, combined with attacks from the Morgan Spurlocks and Eric Schlossers of the world, gives the perception of a wave of defiance spreading toward the quick and delicious junk food that present-day America was built on.

Striving to ensure respect for and fear of the nation's beloved and beleaguered burger, heavy lobbying by the restaurant industry has resulted in more than 20 states taking legislation into account that would reduce obesity suits against restaurants and food manufacturers or would sentence them completely to the fate of the McRib.

Although I'm always on the hunt for the next frivolous lawsuit that's going to enable me to "super size it" for eternity, it's time people take responsibility for and pride in their fast-food overindulgences. If we want to be a nation of fatasses, we should be free to be just that, dammit! With motorized scooters to back us up for long trips through the grocery store. After all, we know what freedom smells like, and it reeks of partially hydrogenated grease and secret sauce. The day we have to sue Grimace and the gang is a day when children weep for an innocence that once was. You're either with us or against us, folks!

For more information on how a bill is passed, please refer to School House Rock.


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