The Future Is Chow!

Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, April 27, 2005 at 3:49 AM

Big Brother is watching you—all to get that Quarter Pounder into your gut a few seconds sooner.

With the advent of ubiquitous surveillance cameras in our lives, it's almost refreshing to see observation technology being put to such delectable use as it is in "HyperActive Bob." Bob is the newest high-tech doohickey from Pittsburgh upstart HyperActive Technologies. Employing rooftop cameras, the system alerts the kitchen when the drive-through is on its way toward a traffic jam, then specifies how much food to prepare.

Currently being tested in Pittsburgh-area Mickey Ds, Taco Bells, and Burger Kings, Bob also seeks to make predictions based on personal and vehicle demographics—whether it be incoming Escalades full of rappers with Big Mac munchies or minivans full of post-AYSO Happy Meal and orange drink fiends with salad-prone chauffeurs.

According to the Associated Press, the technology has been a success with owners, employees, managers, and customers so far, slashing wait and training times dramatically. The company's website states, "HyperActive Bob directly commands kitchen workers, through touch screen interfaces, to produce just the right amount of food at just the right time, ensuring that restaurants never run out of hot, fresh product, while minimizing food waste."

We're all for increasing the efficiency of getting burgers in our gullets as quickly as possible, even if it means yet another situation where profiling by type and invasive technology are utilized in the United States. We're tired of so-called "fast" food restaurants whose inept bungling keep us waiting endlessly for substandard burgers. It's time we use 100 years of industrial know-how for something we can chow on.

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